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How to Create a Safe Haven when Relaxing feels Unsafe


Relaxation has turned into a luxury that many people in today's fast-paced society struggle to afford. For some people, relaxing and de-stressing can feel hazardous, which makes it harder for them to find comfort in quiet periods. There are several potential explanations for this discomfort, including past traumas or a hyperactive nervous system. We may learn to handle these difficulties and make a safe haven for ourselves by adopting a holistic approach to wellbeing and adding activities like breathwork. This blog article will examine the causes of feeling unsafe while relaxing and go in-depth on practical methods for reducing stress in a way that feels safe.

I have often worked with clients who's hearts started racing during a gentle guided meditation. Who couldn't close their eyes in my presence or even refused to take a deep breath. That's how unsafe relaxing can feel to some people. There are different reasons why this might be the case. If you recognize this need for control and difficulty to unwind or find balance i your life, let's explore further...

Understanding the Root Causes:

Past Trauma

People who have gone through trauma in the past might connect relaxation with vulnerability, which can make them feel anxious or afraid. Even in environments that appear to be tranquil, traumatic experiences can upset the neurological system, increasing attentiveness. For instance: some people grew up in an environment with high standards and unrealistic demands where they were expected to be "productive" or use their time in a useful way. Relaxing was frown upon or even punished. To avoid punishment those people tend to keep themselves busy to avoid negative consequences.

Chronic Stress

Long-term exposure stress can cause a hyperactive nervous system, which makes it challenging to transition from a state of hyperarousal to relaxation. It becomes difficult to relax and feel secure when there is downtime because the body gets used to being on high alert. This literally become the person's "default setting" or comfort zone.

Anxiety Disorders

People with anxiety disorders often experience a constant state of worry and heightened vigilance. Relaxation may trigger a sense of impending danger, intensifying their anxiety and preventing them from letting go.

How t create a Safe Space:

Gentle Breathwork

Breathwork exercises can be immensely helpful in regulating the nervous system and promoting relaxation. Begin by finding a comfortable position and focus on slow, deep breaths. Gradually lengthen your exhales, allowing your body to release tension and stress. As you continue this practice, you will notice a shift in your nervous system, moving from a state of alertness to calmness.

Mindfulness Meditation

Building a sense of security and grounding might benefit from practicing mindfulness meditation. Without passing judgment, pay attention to your current experience and take note of any new feelings or thoughts that surface. You can establish a secure inner place where you can unwind without feeling overwhelmed by practicing awareness.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

This technique involves systematically tensing and releasing different muscle groups in your body. Start from your toes and work your way up, paying attention to the sensations of tension and release. This practice can help release physical tension, providing a sense of safety and calmness.

Additional Support:

Seek Professional Help

If feelings of unsafety persist, consider reach out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma, anxiety, or stress management. They can guide you through tailored techniques and provide the necessary support to address your specific concerns.

Holistic Healing Modalities

Explore complementary therapies such as acupuncture, massage, or Reiki, which can help regulate the nervous system, promote relaxation, and restore a sense of safety.

Cultivate a Supportive Environment

Surround yourself with individuals who understand and respect your need for a safe space. Engage in activities that bring you joy and create a sense of security, whether it's spending time in nature, engaging in creative outlets, or seeking solace in the company of loved ones.


Learning to destress and unwind can be a transformative journey, particularly for those who find it challenging to feel safe during relaxation. It is possible to control the nervous system and make oneself a safe haven by adopting a holistic approach to wellness and including activities like breathwork, mindfulness, and progressive muscle relaxation. Keep in mind that mending requires time and patience, so be kind to yourself as you go through this process. You may gradually restore a sense of calm and relaxation in your life by prioritizing your health and embracing habits that speak to you.

Wellness in Mind - How to Create a Safe Haven when Relaxing feels Unsafe

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