In my pursuit of building a relationship with myself and my body I came across something that sounded very appealing to me. It was about the seasons, we women especially, go through each month and how to make use of this knowledge to deeply connect with the body. We are cyclic creatures after all, so the significance of tracking my period and leveraging it was apparent to me.
At the same time I was reading a lot about women who struggle with menopauze, how little we actually acknowledge that we aren't robots, how in the corporate world we are expected to perform at the same level each day, regardless of the phase of our menstrual cycle, how little we as women know and take into account how much our cycle influences us. In fact, we are told that we can do "anything" when we're on our period. Think of all the advertisements for women's hygiene products that promote an active lifestyle, even during "that time of the month." We're expected to go, go, go, all the time.
But every woman I spoke about this verified, that their energy levels, mood, etc vary throughout the month.
So, I decided to gain some insights into my own menses.
I started tracking my period.
And then I stopped
I started again.
I started, added lunar cycles and bought a beautiful journal to keep track of the cycles, my mood, energy, etc.
I read some more, educated myself, convinced myself it was the right thing to do...
And didn't start again.
When I encounter this much resistance to something I know that there is something "wrong". Back in the day I used to force my way through life. I got things done. I know all about the psychology of change. I know how to tackle obstacles, motivate myself, etc. I'm the "change agent" for crying out loud. But what I've learned from experience and my burn out, is that it's best to leave things be if they aren't "in the flow". It might be that the timing is off, but often it means that , on a physical and/or spiritual level, what I'm trying to do/change doesn't really resonate. And that what I'm trying to do, what I'm telling myself is good and healthy, isn't actually right for me.
This isn't always convenient, but it IS ALWAYS IN MY HIGHEST GOOD. My body communicates very clearly. And I've trained myself to trust it. My body can create symptoms of a burn out within a week.
This happened to me in the past when I started working for organizations that didn't suit me and I kept muscling through regardless... My body made it impossible for me to go on. Nowadays I listen and take appropriate action.
In this case, this meant I left tracking my period for what it was, without understanding why my body was so against it...
I have thought a lot about my inner refusal to track my period. But couldn't make much sense of it. Until now. This week I had an epiphany and I want to share it with you because you might be struggling with the same (kind of) thing.
What I realized, was, that tracking my cycle for the purpose of predicting my energy levels would actually limit me. If I know which time of the month I'm at my best and when I usually feel low(er) on energy, I'm gonna adjust my calendar accordingly. The prediction can then become a selffulfilling prophecy: feeling low because it's "that time of the month", not because I'm actually feeling low because of my period for instance.
What I find important is that people learn to listen to and trust their body. Tracking your cycle may initially help you do that, but as soon as you start adjusting to it, it could have an adverse effect.
Whether you decide to track your cycle or not, its crucial that you keep listening to your body, regardless of the phase its supposed to be in.