I've written and talked about hardship and misery as part of life before. Still there's more to say about this topic. You see, there are a lot of people who benefit from the population being sick or perceiving themselves as such. Our health care system is basically a disease-care system. Healthy and perfectly normal individuals are pathologized, infants are being vaccinated, pills are being subscribed to suppress symptoms. People seem to grasp any theory, so-called solution or magical therapy to get rid off their problems. Come on people, wake up! Problems are part of life! We need them. Just as without black, there's no white; without day, there's no night, ect.
I've been through tragic times. We all go through our personal hell, storms and hardship. And when we go through tough situations like getting divorced, hearing that we're chronically ill, losing a job, of course we're going to feel pain, hurt and sadness. That doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with us or that we're clinically depressed!
Nowadays, what I call normal human suffering is considered bad, unwanted and therefor a mental disease. Did you know that thousands of people are on anti depressants and other pharmaceuticals because of depressing situations that are part of life??!!!
It seems like our resilience and our tolerance of pain and suffering have decreased significantly over the last decades. Meanwhile the dark times we go through are the most transformative! We experience discomfort, confrontation, failure, disaster and that's painful, but we also learn from these experiences!
Everybody knows, that when somebody's been in a car accident and his or her whole body is sore and bruised, that it will take the body some time to recover and heal. But when it comes to emotional and psychological bruising, we tend to override the natural healing time by simply deciding that we don't want to deal with our pain or that's "it's been long enough". Have you ever heard somebody say "it's already been a year, you/I should be over that by now"?
We cannot choose to end our suffering, grieving period or heal our bruises. It's not possible to outrun ourselves. And suppressing our emotions only leads to bigger problems later on.
The suffering needs a place to go, an outlet. The goal here is not to flat-line emotions. Please keep in mind: these may be painful times, but they will pass! When you allow yourself to be sad or grieve, you'll process your emotions. This will make room for relief and growth. If you keep your emotions bottled up, they're going to cause problems!
When you're in pain/sadness rather than trying to get rid of it or numb it as soon as possible ask yourself the following questions:
What does this mean? What is the meaning of the pain?
What does it reveal to me?
What is it calling me to understand?
What can I learn from it?
What is a positive consequence of this situation/pain that I'm not seeing yet?
Are you willing to reinterpret the situation, find meaning in your pain and listen to your internal guidance? Then you'll be able to heal yourself. If you keep suppressing your feelings and pursue all kinds of external gratifications, you'll spend your life hiding and running from yourself. This will only lead you to more suffering!
As I said, I'v been through tragic times. I've had my share of storms, trials and tribulations. And I'm sure I'll encounter more problems in the future. That's life. But I'll always turn inward to find peace, solutions, acceptance or healing. And I want to invite you to do the same. There's no (other) way to happiness. Happiness IS the way!